Adoption from the Eyes of a 12 year old

“What does adoption mean mummy?” I remember asking my mum years ago.

“It means someone wants to be the real parent/caregiver of you.”

It was the only explanation she could give me because I was too young to understand what it meant. I probably walked off happy with what I was answered with.

If you didn’t know already, my Mum brought me up for 2 years alone without a husband, apart from the help of my Aunty, Uncle, Grandparents and Nanny. That was until my Dad met my Mum and I in the Philippines when I was only aged 2.

Of course I didn’t remember any of this. When I got to know him more, Mum told me that I called him “Big nose and lellow hair” because I wasn’t used to seeing someone with a nose so big and “pointy”.

I laughed when I first heard that. My mum told me that Dad asked if I could start calling him “Dad” after the wedding. She said yes and from then on, the white guy with a big nose and lellow hair was known to me as “Dad” or in this case,“Daddy”.

About 1 year later after we had moved to New Zealand, I remember my parents calling me for a family meeting. We never really have family meetings so I was basically mystified by what was happening. I thought I was in trouble so I walked in the room, nervous. We ended up having a discussion about Dad wanting to adopt me. That was when I asked the question:

“Why does dad want to adopt me mummy?”

“Because dad wants to be the real dad of you”

I was really confused because I thought dad was already the real dad of me. That was when they told me the story of what happened. I understood what a 6 year old could understand at the time and realised what they wanted to do.

Probably in the same year, I remember going to Christchurch (because we were living in Rangiora at the time) to meet the judge to finalise the adoption. I thought we were going to meet “Judge Judy” (the Judge on the TV show) But my parents laughed and said “No Bea, this is a different Judge” LOL.

I was nervous because this was all new to me, actually meeting a judge. But the talk was only quite short. The strongest of memories that I could remember was when the Judge asked me a question:

“So Bea, what is the best moment you have had with your dad?”

I remember answering: “When me and dad were in the garage one time when I was helping him, he did a really big fart”

The reaction from my parents was pure embarrassment (especially for my dad) and laughter. I looked at the Judge and she was looking at my dad like “Ok……. Weirdo….”

I couldn’t help but just sit there and look around. LOL

After that I remember celebrating it with my parents. My parents gave me a locket. Inside were pictures of me and dad and me and my mum. I loved it so much. I wore the necklace to the restaurant they took me to. They asked me how I wanted to celebrate the adoption – do we go out to a nice restaurant with just as a family or we have a big party at home. I chose to celebrate the adoption with just my Mum and Dad.

Today, Adoption for me is like really cool because I know that my dad wants to take a big responsibility by being a part of my life. Dad is a great Dad to me. My Dad loves me even when I’m being bad or naughty.

I can’t imagine having any other Daddy.

I don’t look at adoption to be a bad thing because if someone wants to adopt you, it means they want to care for you, and love you heaps and heaps.

It means they want to sacrifice things for you like paying heaps of money for food, entertainment and schooling.

It means they want to protect you and to keep you safe of harm.

That’s why I am proud to be adopted by my dad, or “Daddy” x x

Tagged as: adoption story, Family, meaning of adoption